You're the assistant to the assistant manager at the movie theater.

All of this being said about LeBron getting booed against the Wizards really makes me mad at Cleveland “fans”. This is the first time since Jim Brown played for the Browns in the 60s that someone of this magnitude has played on one of our teams. I can guarantee you that the people booing didn’t even know who the Cavs were until LeBron started playing for them. Anyone who has been a Cavs fan for the long haul would never do anything like that. I never booed Price, Daugherty, Nance, Hot Rod, or even Craig Ehlo for that matter, so I’m sure as hell not going to boo LeBron. Now I know that none of those other guys were supposed to be the second coming, but people have to remember that LeBron is 21, in his 3rd season, and still doesn’t have a whole lot of talent around him that isn’t Lithuanian (and even he falters when he gets cracked on the head or played physically in general). If these spoiled bastards ruin this and run him out of town they could end up swimming in the Cuyahoga. If the Cavs can hold the ship and make the playoffs and get cousin Larry back and get Drew Gooden to at least partially pull his head out of his ass (his numbers are down across the board this season, and I thought it was hilarious how Hubie Brown refused to talk about him during Sunday’s broadcast. Hubie obviously knows Drew well) they’ll be all right.

Job number one in the off-season should be to get a real point guard. Meaning someone who can both pass and at least be a threat to score. Jeff McInnis may have been crazy and a little bit of a loose cannon but at least he was good for 12-14 per night.

I read a scouting report on Kevin Pittsnogle a couple of weeks ago. It said he might get selected in the 2nd round or end up with someone as a free agent. The case that was made for this is because of his lack of a post game and weak defense. Forget about his quick release and ability to shoot from the outside. If Pittsnogle’s name was say Vladimir Nostrolovic wouldn’t he be a lottery selection? His game is pure European, but for some reason that has never been mention. The fact that the guy can rain from deep will get him into the league.
I made the comment a couple of months back that I could see Rasheed Wallace turning into Sam Perkins by the time his career is over. I’m retracting that now. After seeing Rasheed break open Z’s head Sunday and then get booed mercilessly Monday night in Cleveland it made me think of a former Piston, Bill Laimbeer. Laimbeer was the baddest of the bad boys and was always in the opponent’s head (I would say that this is where Rodman picked up the physiological part of his game from) but was a force on defense, on the boards, and could hit from deep. I remember going to a Cavs game with my dad at the old Richfield Coliseum probably in like 91 or 92. Every time Laimbeer touched the ball he was booed, including by my dad. But he just seemed to feed off of it. ‘Sheed has the same capabilities, I just don’t think that he showcases it all of the time the way Laimbeer did.

You want a toe? I can get you a toe by 3pm.

The internet and sports tickers have really ruined the Olympics for me. Don’t get me wrong, I still watch most events, but when you know the outcome its not much fun. I’ll admit that I watched parts of the ladies figure skating final last night. Parts. There’s no way I was watching the whole thing with all of the great basketball that was on last night (primarily Nova at Cincy). But the fact that I knew that Cohen fell and got the silver killed it for me. Yeah, I’m a wuss for watching figure skating. But there are some babes out there. One thing that really bothered me was that some of the Euro skaters have gone away from skirts and are one-piece outfits. If there are no skirts then there’s no point in watching. I hope this trend doesn’t catch on.

On a related Olympics note, US aerials skier Jaret Peterson punched out one of his friend last night in a drunken rage after he finished 7th in the event. Awesome dude. I’d be mad if I was an Olympic athlete and my event wasn’t until the very end of the games. I’d want to do it early and then party and bang all of the tapering female athletes the rest of the time. How awesome would that be?

On to more important issues like the Cavs acquiring wife beater Lee Nailon and Flip Murray. I don’t really have a problem with either of these deals since they basically got them for nothing. Nailon is a poor man’s Donyell Marshall (if there is such a thing). He doesn’t have the same shooting range nor can he rebound as well, but he can score. So if he can give them the occasional spark off of the bench without beating up any women I’ll be happy. I’m pretty pleased with the Flip deal. They got him for #3 PG Mike Wilks and some cash. With cousin Larry Hughes out until at least the playoffs (barring another late season clapse) and Damon Jones stinking up the entire Lake Erie shoreline the Cavs needed a spark at the 2. While Pavolovic has played well at times, he’s not a horse. He started to show some wear towards the All-Star break. The hope here is that the Flip/Sasha 2-headed monster can average about 20 points per game and give LeBron the help that cousin Larry was supposed to.

I read in Sports Illustrated this week that Kristy Swanson is a home wrecker. Apparently she’s dating her partner from Skating with Celebrities. No problem except for the fact that the show was taped in October (when the relationship started) and the skater dude separated from his wife in November. Even though Kristy has packed on some pounds since her last public appearance she still gets the job done.

I was almost in disbelief when I saw that Reggie Wayne resigned with the Colts. Talk about breaking a stereotype. I never thought I’d see the day that a player from the “U” would take less money to stay with a winner. Wayne would have gotten #1 receiver money with the weak free agent class (minus TO) and the substandard draft class. Whoever thought that Reggie Wayne would be a trailblazer? I would bet on the fact that his current teammate Edgerrin James will not be following suit.
As I watched the Wisconsin-Northwestern game last night and tried not to fall asleep (will someone shoot with more than 10 seconds left on the shot clock?) I noticed that Wisconsin has a player that looks an awful lot like Chris Rock. Kammron Taylor could be Rock’s doppelganger. It’s uncanny.

He fixes the cable?

I was going to write a "worthwhile" post today (I use that term loosely). But I've started cleaning the storage closet here in the office. And since I am big on mindless, time consuming labor I'm going to finish my cleaning.

You know how they say you learn something new every day. Well, some days that's true. Tody for example, I was on imdb.com looking up something in the Big Lebowski. And as I'm looking at the complete cast list I notice something. In the porn that Maude and the Dude are watching with Tara Reid in it, the other girl in the porn is none other than Asia Carrera. One of my personal favorites. I was pretty excited about it. But no, not that excited.

Maybe tomorrow I'll have something more. Back to cleaning.

You know, the usual. I bowl. Drive around. The occasional acid flashback.

My liver hates me. Not that I didn’t already know this, but after this last weekend I was reminded.

I went to Myrtle Beach this past weekend with my wife and the couple that we hang out with. They know a guy who has a condo down there so board was free. Now it was pretty cold Saturday and Sunday (high of 42) but we made due.

We got down there Friday and dumped our bags at the condo and hit Hooters for some beers and dinner. Needless to say I was off to a good start. And our waitress was smoking hot.

(As much as I love Hooters part of me wishes they would only put them in hot babe havens like Myrtle Beach. We went to the Hooters in Roanoke a couple of weeks ago and it was a shame. There should be some way to gauge the hot girl index in an area. The Roanoke Hooters was bad but not anywhere close to Melbourne, FL bad.)

So we hit the Bi-Lo Grocery on the way back for more beer and this continued. Of course this place had a hot tub that I sat in and drank in for about 2 hours. Very healthy. Hot tubbin’ is always best on a chilly night with a cooler full of beer. Anyways, we almost killed the case of Silver Bullets between the 2 of us. Good times.

I woke up feeling like a train wrecked in my head the next morning. But my body felt great thanks to the soothing powers of the hot tub. But with this said we had an 11:30 tee time that morning. No problem (until about the 5th hole when my legs pretty much left me). We get to the course only to have the starter yelling at us to get it in gear because there was a group of 20 that was set to go off right after us. He literally started yelling at us as soon as we gave him our names. Needless to say my buddy David was a little upset with him. And the guy was almost deaf on top of being a dick. So I had to repeat every question like 5 times (actually I only asked him if coolers were allowed. He initially told me no, but then saw the cooler and said “Coolers? Yeah we allow coolers.” What an idiot.).

Now the worst part about only having 2 people is that you’re bound to get paired up with another group. This always sucks because it’s a total wild card. Well, we lucked out. We got paired with Big Lou and Little Lou. Big Lou was easily in his 70s and little Lou was down visiting from NY. Needless to say the running joke for the rest of the weekend was that we had a meeting in a few minutes with the Lous. Awesome.

Anyways, Little Lou could kill it off the tee. Grant it, it only went straight about one out of four, but still huge. He drove his tee shot on 18 about 325. And Big Lou was pretty awesome. A solid 150-200 on every tee shot right down the middle. He was pretty much automatic until he got on the green where he couldn’t buy a putt all day.

They were pretty cool dudes and unlike some douches you meet on a course were very friendly. I found out that Big Lou actually played in the Boston Braves system back in the 40s.

So we drank under control on the course (about 10 apiece) so not to make a scene especially in front of our new friends. From there it was onto dinner at Senor Frogs. Good food, warm beer. The service was sketching at best and I’m pretty sure our beers sat on the bar for at least 5 minutes each time. That pisses me off.

(One thing that I noticed about Myrtle that I hadn’t before was that if there are any just bars that they are very well hidden. Everything is very touristy. I do love a good dive bar.)

Basically this night included my blurting out drunken thoughts that usually get checked at my voice box. In turn pissing off my wife (go figure) and ending with me and my buddy in the hot tub again. Of course we got back inside and it was only like midnight so he went to bed and I stayed up watching the Olympics and drinking more.

That was pretty much the extent of the fun. We drove home the next day. Its only about 4 hours from here. So I guess hell isn’t all that far from the beach after all.

But I was excited to have Monday off. This was my first Presidents Day since my senior year of high school (1998) that I didn’t have to work/class. You see Bowling Green State University always had a “Preview Day” that day. Basically you went to class and there’d be a bunch of snot nosed high schoolers in there. What kind of kid spends a day off of school visiting a school? Idiots, that’s who.

I spent my exciting day working out, doing laundry, ironing, and bathing my stupid cats. All this before my wife got home at 3 from work. I was impressed too.

I may have some thoughts about an array of current happenings at a later date. But not now. I’m pretty sure that I’ve killed off a good number of brain cells because I’m having trouble concentrating lately. I need to get some ginseng or something.

In the year 2525...

A big congrats to Spuds McKenzie’s son, Rufus, for winning the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show. Spuds fell out of favor when he married Rufus’s mom, Coco, but this is validation for Spuds. Now he can crap in everyone’s beer.

At least it was a real dog that won that thing. Not some rat with long legs. And what a good dog name. Not something pretentious or stupid. Rufus sounds like the kind of name that your neighbor’s dog would have.

I know that the UConn-Nova game was 2 days ago, but I didn’t get the chance to say anything about it yesterday. I loved how UConn didn’t know how to react after Nova came back after UConn’s 13-0 2nd half start. It was like that was UConn’s best shot, and they knew it, so when Nova came back they didn’t have an answer.

But what I really took away from this game was how overrated JJ Redick really is. Allan Ray was lights out in that game. He’s a very good shooter, but probably a step below Redick. But the rest of his game is better than Redick’s. He’s a better on the ball and team defender, he can handle, he’s quick, and he knows how to finish in the lane. And even though Randy Foye didn’t have a big night I think his game is very similar. Maybe its just me but I wouldn’t say that Redick’s shooting alone makes him a better player than either of these guys. Ray is 6’2” and Foye is 6’4” (at least that’s what Nova says they are) so both are going to have to run some point at the next level. Now I know that I would feel a lot more comfortable with Ray or Foye running my team, even for a short time, than Redick. Redick’s a great shooter, probably the best long-range shooter in college basketball history, but he’s not even close to a complete player. And I know I’ve been beating a dead horse with this, but I just don’t understand how anyone thinks Redick is going to be a star.

I’ve been thinking about it and the closest NBA comparison I can make for Redick is either Ray Allen or Rip Hamilton. But the one thing that jumps out at me is that these guys played complete games in college. Allen and Hamilton could both get to the hoop AND finish. Now since they’ve been in the NBA their games have changed. Allen is pretty much just a jump shooter now and Hamilton is a catch and shoot guy. Both fit into their system well. If Redick gets into the right system he may be successful, but I don’t consider Allen or Hamilton to be super stars, so I don’t see how that will work for JJ.

Blow me!

I did watch some of the Olympics this weekend. My love for curling cannot be denied since I bypassed my normal Sportscenter morning viewing to watch the US women lose to Norway this morning on USA. I watched a ton of the Winter Olympics in 2002. Probably because I was in college and there wasn’t much competition for the CNBC broadcast at 2am. The one thing that gets me is NBC interviewing all of the foreign winners. Most of these people speak broken English at best and these interviewers are asking really complex questions. It makes me laugh.

On to the main reason I’m posting today. I was scanning my hometown newspaper last week and came across an interesting article. Apparently heroin is becoming a bigger and bigger problem in not only the bustling metropolis of New Philadelphia but also Tuscarawas County. Anyways, seven area residents were busted in Pittsburgh in a big sting. All of them were pretty much charged with possession and intent to deliver (distribute). Which means that there was probably quite a bit of smack in the apartment.

Now on to why this concerns me. They listed the arrested individuals and not surprisingly I know 2 of them and another who was mentioned at the bottom of the article. Trevor Hawkins graduated a year ahead of me and was always a prick. Aric Campbell graduated a year after me and was always a burnout. I was honestly a little surprised to see him on the list. He never seemed to have the ambition to be involved in something like this. I always figured him as a user, not a dealer. Maybe he was just a mule. And then Steve Schwartz. This kid was a great athlete growing up. And then decided he liked drugs (but then who doesn’t) and pretty much fell off of the face of the earth. I remember his dad getting thrown in jail for embezzlement when I was in high school. He owned a manufactured homes empire that Steve would have fallen into. Maybe that’s what put him over the edge.

I really think that this means that everyone I’ve ever thought would get busted in a drug ring will. When I read the article I was not surprised at all. Good for them. I bet the prisons in western PA are lots of fun. Aric and Trevor looked like smack addicts in high school so I bet they’ll have lots of fun with Bubba and Tyrone. You got a purty mouth, boy.

You can bring your green hat!

I was going to try to write something that had a point today. But honestly as the day as progressed I’ve really lost steam. But I do have some thoughts on things that I’ve read and seen today.

As others and myself have stated in the past, ESPN’s Tim Legler is an idiot. And for that matter so is everyone who says that being an All-Star should be based on how good your team is (if that were the case than how the hell did Paul Pierce make it?). I don’t think that the Pistons deserve 4 All-Stars. I do think that Billups should be on there, and Ben Wallace only because the NBA uses that dumb rule that says you have to have a backup center as opposed to any big man (obviously b/c the All-Star game is so structured). I think that Rip Hamilton is a great shooter and I appreciate his game for the fact that the mid range jumper is a lost art. But he’s not an All-Star. He’s the 6th man on a lot of NBA teams because of his style of play. Detroit has molded their system to maximize his strengths. I really like Rasheed Wallace because he’s accepted his role on that team. His versatility has really shown through in Detroit where he doesn’t need to carry the scoring load every night. But again I don’t think that ‘Sheed is an All-Star for the mere fact that his numbers aren’t that impressive.

Here are my 2 replacements. Michael Redd and Gilbert Arenas.

Redd is one of the few guys that was able to reinvent himself once he got into the league. When he was at Ohio State he was purely a slasher. After his rookie year he realized that he needed to learn to shoot. Now he’s one of the best shooter in the league. And what is one of the things that people love in the All-Star Game? Long bombs. Tons of threes all game long.

Arenas being left off is just ridiculous. I don’t understand how you can be fourth in the league in scoring and be one of the most dynamic players in the league and get left off. Arenas is a gunner and one of those guys who can get hot in a no-defense game like this and end up hitting for 35 and keep people watching. How great would a back and forth between Kobe and Arenas be?

Not bad for a couple of 2nd round picks. Especially Redd who was the 43rd pick in the 2000 draft.

In the same ESPN article that Legler was pining in (he also said that Kevin Garnett didn’t deserve to be on the team) Mark Stein said that the Bulls should trade for a big man to “complement” Tyson Chandler. One problem, the Bulls should be looking for a big man that Tyson Chandler can complement. Chandler is a good rebounder and decent defender, but he’s not too hot on the offensive end (5.5ppg). Try to find a big man that can score it.

There is a rule in my house that my wife hates. Any time ESPN Classic is showing a 1980s NBA game featuring Jordan, Bird, or Magic, that game automatically becomes the flip back channel at worst. Sometimes it takes over the main viewing position.

The point that I was trying to make in the paragraph about the Pistons was that the reward for being a great team is winning the NBA Title, not having a ton of guys on the All-Star team. The 1995-96 Bulls had 2 All-Stars. Why all of a sudden is this a big deal? Especially when the Mavs and Spurs are right there with the Pistons. If anything I think that this will add fuel to their fire and help to motivate them in the second half of the season and into the playoffs.

I just came across an interesting stat. There have only been 5 occurrences in NBA history that a player has shot over 50% from 3 with at least 150 attempts. Steve Kerr not only holds the highest percentage in a single season (52.4%), but shot over 50% on two other occasions. I personally think that that’s awesome.

Both ways, like a bisexual.

This is a story that I heard second hand, but I hold it as very true.

First the background. A couple of weeks back former Florida Marlins manager and North Carolina resident Jack McKeon was in town for a card show at the local high school. The clubhouse manager here at the park was one of the organizers for the event so he got to talk with Jack quite a bit. Here’s the story.

(After the show. Jack’s shootin’ the breeze telling stories when someone asks him about A.J. Burnett getting all that money from Toronto)

They fucked that one up. That kid is the biggest idiot I’ve ever been around in baseball. If he would have been healthy in 2003 there’s no way we would have won the World Series. He’s a complete head case and a jackass. We were a game out of the wild card last year in August and he had won four straight starts for us at that point. Once he realized what situation the team was in he imploded. He went down the shitter and cost us a shot at the playoffs. If the Blue Jays would have called me for a reference that’s exactly what I would have told them. You would think they could have figured that out when I sent him home with two weeks left in the season. He was such a cancer that I couldn’t even have him around the other players by the end of the season. What a waste of talent.
###

Now of course Jack told this whole story while puffing on a cigar. I thought that it was an awesome story and it makes me laugh every time I read something about how the Jays are going to make the playoffs this season. When a guy has that kind of stuff and his best season has been 12-12, shouldn’t that set off some alarms? Especially when you’re looking at paying him $55 million. I would say that this isn’t a guy that you can count on.

Harry, your hands are freezing!

I’m not going to write about the horrible officiating and how it cost the Seahawks the game. I’ve written that piece and a plan for the NFL to rectify the problem without hiring full time officials.

Jerramy Stevens gets my Golden Dong Award for biggest Super Bowl Choker. Nicely done.

The Diet Pepsi commercials that promoted the drink as brown and bubbly made me think of diarrhea. This is why I drink Diet Coke, it doesn’t remind me of shit. Runny shit at that.

Now onto my main topic.

Let’s go three years into the future. The Pittsburgh (or maybe Detroit) police get a domestic disturbance call. They arrive at the house and guess who answers the door? Oh yeah, The Bus, Jerome Bettis. Everyone’s good guy. His wife is crying in the kitchen with a shiner covered up by a steak.

The cops are almost in disbelief but they cuff him (it will take two pairs) and take him downtown. And all of a sudden it’s all over every news outlet and every non-Steelers fan and everyone who wanted to puke every time they saw Jerome Bettis over the last month will laugh.

This is plausible. Think of how many players lose it after they retire. All of a sudden they don’t have that outlet for their anger and frustration anymore. He’s been set up for something like this with his farewell season. Everyone loves this guy and he can do no wrong. But we all know that Bettis sold his soul to the devil to have his career. Why the hell do you think that there aren’t any other big backs with that many yards? Jerome grew up in the slums as a fat kid. The devil was his only way out and the devil always gets his dues.

You fill up my senses, like a punch in the face.

Here's what I'm looking forward to this weekend, in order.

1. Not working. I think that this goes without saying.
2. Getting drunk. For sure on Sunday, and maybe Friday and Saturday too. I'm pretty much a huge wuss now.
3. Playing NCAA 2006 almost all day Saturday b/c my wife has to work.
4. The Super Bowl Commercials.
5. Watching the actual Super Bowl.

Mick Jagger is a pretty awesome dude. Not only his he still banging chicks a quarter of his age, but he's filthy rich. I just heard an excerpt from his press conference and he said that ABC's biggest concern is how much he'll say "fuck" on the air. He told them that Aretha Franklin was planning on stripping during the National Anthem. I don't even want to think about that.

Outside of the Cavs getting waxed by the Heat last night, I don't have a whole lot else to say.

Except for this. I was purusing the local newspaper today and the Humane Society had a picture of a cat named Calvin. This is the 2nd time in the 9 months that I've lived here that I've seen a cat named Calvin in the paper. Don't people know that Calvin was the little boy? Hobbes is the tiger.

The doctor said I wouldn't have so many nose bleeds if I kept my finger out of there.

I actually have some things to say today. Now whether they come out in any form that makes sense, that’s another story.

I thought that last night’s Duke/BC game was great. Duke looked like they were going to run BC out of the gym in the 2nd half, but BC hung tough and made it a game. I also thought that Jared Dudley outplayed everyone else on the court, including Redick. But I can’t watch Duke on ESPN. At least with the sound on. It doesn’t matter whose doing the game, they all get down on their knees for Duke. It really bothers me.

Vitale went off on some tangent last night about how he hates the fact that teams are jumping conferences for football and money. He sited to examples, BC and Penn State. Hey Dick, live in the now! PSU’s been in the Big Ten since 1994 when it became clear to their athletic department that being an independent wasn’t going to work anymore. They didn’t jump conferences, they joined one. What an idiot.

Vitale also compared Redick to Kirk Hinrich. Once again, the player that these idiots are comparing Redick to is a point guard. And has always been a point guard. What a bunch of idiots. While Redick is a better shooter than Hinrich, he’s nowhere near the ball handler and doesn’t have the same kind of quickness. Are these people actually watching basketball?

Bowling Green’s football program actually signed six guys that were ranked in scout.com’s top 150 by position. That’s a big deal for a non BCS team. Last year we only had one, so that’s a good jump. And I was glad to see them sign some talent on the defensive side of the ball, since, well we didn’t have a defense last season.

I was thinking today of how much I love TV, and that not having cable would be like living in a cave. But then I got to thinking that when I was growing up, between the ages of 11 and 14 I didn’t have cable. We lived in the country and couldn’t get cable and this was before the mini dishes. We had an antenna so we got the major networks, but there was no ESPN for this guy. Of course my dad and both sets of grandparents lived in town so I got doses of cable. How did I ever survive?

I was checking out the Arena League website today to see if any former BG Falcons were still hanging around (no, by the way) and I stumbled upon something very interesting. Crazy Alonzo Spellman is playing for the Las Vegas team. Doesn’t that seem like a bad mix? A crazy person in America’s craziest city. Awesome.

Speaking of the Arena League, I think that its pretty awesome that they were smart enough to put a team in Vegas while the major sports are worrying about what putting a team there would do to their image. I heard an interview with the AFL commissioner about year ago and he jabbed the NFL the entire time. Mostly over the Vegas team and the NFL not having a presence in L.A., which the AFL does. But from my experience, you shouldn’t poke bears.

I’m getting more excited by the day about this upcoming Seattle/Draft Trip. John, you better not blow this and get fired in a month. I was looking forward to Montana, but that wasn’t a sure thing for me financially. This on the other hand is. I’ve never really had any desire to go to Seattle, but now that I have an excuse to go, I bet I’m really going to like the city.