Get Out!!!

I went Christmas shopping this weekend with my wife. I hate Christmas shopping at the mall. Any mall. People just turn into idiots this time of year. You can’t walk through the stores and it always seems like the mall cranks the heat up to about 95. But it wasn’t bad; we were in and out for the most part. But one thing I found very disturbing was in FYE. You know the CD and DVD store in most malls. On their new releases shelf they have the Seinfeld seasons DVD. Now they have seasons 1 and 2 in a pack and 1, 2, and 3 in another pack. And the price, $74.99 for 1 and 2 and $119.99 for all 3. Now don’t get me wrong, I like Seinfeld. It’s got to be in my top 5 favorite shows of all time. But it’s on at least twice a night in most TV markets. If that’s not enough to get your Seinfeld fix then you better get help.

Speaking of Seinfeld that makes me think of a topic I’ve been meaning to write about for a while. TV Dads. These are some of the most hilarious characters on television. And when I say Dads I’m not talking about Ray Romano, I’m talking about Ray’s Dad. Here is my top 5…

Frank Castanza-his blow ups make him classic enough. Any Seinfeld that he’s in I automatically sit down and watch. I’m preprogrammed to do so by the people at NBC and TBS.

Red Foreman-The funniest character on That 70s Show. You won’t hear the term “dumbass” more in 30 minutes in a biker bar.

Abe Simpson-He isn’t constantly funny like the other two but he has his moments and he’s such a great springboard character for the other Simpsons. Springboard; jeez that actually sounded like I knew what I was talking about.

Frank Verome-Now I just recently started watching the Raymond reruns, but Frank makes the show. He’s the funniest character on the show.

Arthur from King of Queens-This is Jerry Stiller’s second appearance in my top 5. The role of over eccentric, fly off the handle, paranoid father figures is something that he’s mastered and will be able to play until the day he dies.

Is there another team in the NBA that has benefited from the Pistons-Pacers brawl as much as the Cavs? Honestly I would think not. The Cavs were destined to finish no better than 3rd in the Central and now have a legit shot at winning the Division. The Pacers won’t be at full strength for the rest of the season without Artest and the Pistons don’t seem to have recovered since the incident. It’s pretty awesome in my book. As a Cleveland fan I’ll take it any way I can get it.

17 net yards. 17! That’s what the Browns put up Sunday in Buffalo. I didn’t think it was possible, but they have found a new low.

And too sprinkle some salt into the wound that has been my Browns 2004 season, ESPN showed “The Drive” Friday when I was at lunch with my coworkers. That is literally my first football memory. That game. I wanted them to change all the TVs it was on, but it wasn’t worth the effort. Just kick me when I’m down. I did threaten to punch Mark in the top of the head if he didn’t shut up about it. I think that sent the message of how much I hated that game and the pain it brought with it. If Elway doesn’t win that game for them, the Browns beat the Giants in the Super Bowl. That always drove me nuts about the Broncos beating us 3 times in 4 years; they never won a Super Bowl. And all of them in blow out fashion. If that’s the case they could have at least given us a shot.

The Indians traded Matt Lawton this weekend to the Pirates for Arthur Rhodes. I like that fact that they got a solid, but old, lefty for the pen. But I didn’t like the price. Lawton is coming off a career year in which he was an All-Star. Now I understand the need for pitching and the need to open some spots for younger players, but this coupled with the loss of Vizquel makes me worry about the clubhouse situation. That clubhouse now sorely lacks veteran leadership and that can not be underestimated on a young team. Just ask Frank Robinson.

I wasn’t surprised to see Matt Leinert win the Heisman Saturday night. You knew Peterson wouldn’t win it because he’s a frosh, they weren’t going to give it to White after the way he finished last season, Bush didn’t get enough touches in a lot of his games, and Alex Smith goes to Utah. So it was Leinert’s to lose. He says he’ll be back for his RS Senior year. I don’t believe it. To me you need to go when you’re on top and people are talking about you. There are too many unknowns for next season. Unless he has a horrible Orange Bowl, he should take the money and run.

I think that David Pollack is going to be a bum in the NFL. I could be wrong, but I’ll laugh at the team that drafts him in April. Who am I kidding; it’ll probably be the Browns.

With that said, I’m done…

I Hate a Parade...

Just kidding. I love a good parade unless I'm driving in that area.

Last night college football presented its “other” awards. And by others I mean the ones that they usually get right unlike the Heisman. I can tell you one guy who had to be a little upset about taking the shaft and that was Derrick Johnson from Texas. He’s as good a LB as you’ll find in college football this season. And he lost out on both the Bednarik and the Lombardi to that bum David Pollack. What a joke. But he did take home the Nagurski and the Butkus is awarded today. But like I said they “usually” get these awards right, I don’t think they did last night. On top of Pollack getting these two Jason White won both the Maxwell and the O’Brien. As far as the O’Brien is concerned I think Alex Smith should have won on TD to INT ration alone. Oh and his team is undefeated, but who cares, he went to Utah. It is a sham that Cedric Benson wasn’t up for the Maxwell or is he a finalist for the Heisman. Some how this guy won the award for the best RB in the country (Walker) but wasn’t a finalist for either of the best player awards behind other RBs. Shafted!

Mike Nugent finally won the Groza Award in his senior year. I’m not saying he deserved it last season, but 2002 for sure. He was the third MVP on the National Champs behind the D and Craig Krenzel. But I’m pretty sure he clinched it with the 55 yard game winner against Marshall earlier this season. From then on it was his to lose. Don’t underestimate the power of a good kicking game. Look at how many games were decided on it this season alone.

Back to Benson for a minute. He was Texas’s offense this year. They had no receivers to speak of, a scrambling QB, and a good D. With all of this he still rushed for almost 1,800 yards and 20 TDs. It’s a mockery of the college awards. Its nothing but a who’s who award.

If Jason White wins the Heisman I might throw up on one of my cats Saturday night. And on top of that I’m pretty sure that Archie Griffen would blow his brains out when he found out his name would now be synonymous with White’s. He’s a good QB, but no, he doesn’t deserve it and he knows it. Ask him, he does.

Speaking of Archie, does he get 2 Heisman votes since he won twice? Maybe that explains Eddie George winning over Tommy Frazier in 1995.

Reggie Bush is a great player and will only get better. But he doesn’t deserve to be in NY for the Heisman presentation. To me you have to be great in every game to win the Heisman. Its hard to do that when you only get 10 touches in about a third of your games.

And with that in mind I think that would make it a two man race. Matt Leinart and Alex Smith. Maybe Adrian Peterson but he got hurt a couple of times. And a frosh will never win it. If you break it down like that you have to give it to Alex Smith. The guy accounted for 38 TDs this season. 28 passing and 10 rushing for an undefeated team. He was the most dangerous QB in the nation this season. White came out of the gates slow this season and didn’t really get going until the OSU game and Leinart had some down game.

For those who don’t follow Division III football Mount Union is in the Final Four again. I was basically raised on Raider football from junior high on. My Grandpa and both aunts on my Dad’s side both went there. I’d love to see them win it again to avenge last season’s debacle. And their mascot is a Macaw, you don’t see that too often.

The reason I haven’t written in a while is simple, Letter Linker. Its this addictive game on Candystand.com. It’s awesome, I just wish I could beat Level 7. Or the 7th Level of Hell as I call it.

The Browns suck. I left about 3 minutes into the 3rd quarter Sunday. Just awful. And if he doesn’t sign with Notre Dame Charlie Weis would be a great coach. But I would still love to see them go after Fassel. And for a GM, if the Oz isn’t at the top of their list then they’re retarded. It ripped his heart out to go with the team to Baltimore, but I totally understood it. He was really the only black player personnel guy in the NFL at the time. He couldn’t give that up. I really think that he would come back to Cleveland in a minute. And did I mention what a great talent evaluator he is. You don’t win a Super Bowl by accident.

Even after their meltdown Wednesday in Chicago the Cavs have still have the best record in the East. LeBron has slowed down a bit of late. He’s been short of 20 in 2 or his last 3 games. I think this is all the minutes catching up with him. But he’ll bounce back. If this means he makes plays like he did against NJ Monday night I’m all for it. He picked off a pass with 20 seconds left in the game and took it down and just seemed to glide over the rim and throw it down. It was awesome.

Gordon Gund is selling the Cavs. Its kind of sad. The team had had modest success when he bought them in 1983. But under Gund the Cavs had their best years in the late ‘80s and early 90s. It’s a shame he’s getting out now when we’re just a couple of years from a title.

And finally the Ohio State basketball program put themselves on a one year post season ban because of the Jim O’Brien scandal. Just another example of how crooked coaching is the gift that just keeps on giving. But I always liked O’Brien. Any coach that can take the Buckeye basketball team to the Final Four is good in my book.

I'm a Frickin' Genius

Like I hinted at yesterday I have solved Division I-A College Football’s playoff formula. It’s pretty simple. I used the basic setup of the DI-AA playoff system since that along with the other college football playoffs seem to work so well.

Ok, we start with a 16 team field. This will include all 11 conference winners. That’s right Big XII all the way down to the Sun Belt. And then 5 wild card teams. These teams will be selected based on their BCS rank. In time a new system would be developed and the BCS would be gone. Something like the system that the Ohio High School football playoffs are based on. It heavily factors in strength of schedule which would force teams to play tougher schedules therefore making for more exciting games.

Now I know that one of the main hang ups with a playoff is the potential loss of the bowls. Well guess what, this system incorporates the bowls. The “Final Four” games will be played in the Rose Bowl, Orange Bowl, and Sugar Bowl with the championship rotating between the three. The reason these three get the Final Four is because they are the major bowl games with the most history. Let’s face it, the Fiesta Bowl bought their way into the BCS, it’s a made up game.

Second round playoff games will be played at the Cotton, Fiesta, Citrus, and Gator Bowls. These bowls were chosen because I consider them to be second tier New Year’s Day bowls (sorry Outback Bowl). It also allows the system to be set up to accommodate high seeds geographically.

Some of you may be saying, for example, “What about my beloved Silicon Valley Classic?” And I say to you, no worries. These bowls will be able to pick from the numerous bowl eligible, non playoff teams. As well as first round losers.

And I guess we’ll have to add a Notre Dame rule. But wait, no we don’t. If they finish in the top 5 among non-conference winners they’ll get a spot. If not, too bad. No special consideration for a school that thinks it’s too good to join a conference.

Now, getting into the actual seeding. Teams will be seeded based on conference strength. This will be formulated by the number of teams from said conference ranked in the “BCS” top 25 at seasons end. If there is a tie then it will go to average rank. I know that there will be cases that people say that there are wild card teams that are better than conference champs. Well I have taken this into consideration. The top 5 conference champs will be guaranteed the top 5 seeds. So with this in mind let’s look at how this season would be set up.

Teams…
Auburn (SEC)
Oklahoma (Big 12)
Virginia Tech (ACC, if they beat Miami)
Michigan (Big 10)
USC (Pac 10)
Cal (wildcard)
Texas (wildcard)
Utah (MWC)
Georgia (wildcard)
Boise St. (WAC)
Louisville (C-USA)
Miami (wildcard)
LSU (wildcard)
Pitt (Big East)
Toledo (MAC, if they beat Miami, Oh)
North Texas (Sun Belt)

Now after the top five seeds are placed, the seedings are done by the “BCS” rankings. Auburn received the #1 spot because there are 5 SEC teams in the top 25 with an average rank of 11.6. Oklahoma gets #2 because the Big 12 has 5 teams in the top 25 with an average of 14.3. Virginia Tech is #3 with four ACC teams ranked with an average of 15.7. Michigan gets #4 because the Big Ten has 4 teams with an average of 18.9. And finally, USC gets the #5 spot even though they are ranked #1 because the conference sucks with only 3 teams ranked.

And here are the brackets…

Auburn
16. North Texas (at Auburn)

8. Utah
9. Georgia (at Utah)

5. USC
12. Miami (at USC)

4. Michigan
13. LSU (at Michigan)

Oklahoma
15. Toledo (at Oklahoma)

7. Texas
10. Boise St. (at Texas)

6. Cal
11. Louisville (at Cal)

Virginia Tech
14. Pitt (at Virginia Tech)

Now keeping in mind that the second round games will be played in Dallas (Cotton), Tempe (Fiesta), Orlando (Citrus), and Jacksonville (Gator) the top four seeds will receive a geographical “break” in their ranking order. Meaning that the second round game in the 1/16 & 8/9 slot will be played at the Gator Bowl because that is the closet game to Auburn. The 5/12 & 4/13 game will be played in the Fiesta Bowl because UM gets the left over spot as the #4 seed. The 2/15 & 7/10 spot will be played in Dallas at the Cotton Bowl. Yes there is potential for Red River Shootout II and I don’t think anyone (especially Texas) would complain about that. And finally the 6/11 & 3/14 game will be played in Orlando at the Citrus Bowl. This is the closest remaining game to Virginia Tech.

Now the Final Four will be on a predetermined schedule. So just for kicks let’s say this season that the Sugar Bowl gets the potential 1&4 match up and the Rose gets the 2&3 match up. That leaves the title game to be played in the Orange Bowl.

Another problem that is constantly brought up about a playoff is time. Well, problem solved. Teams will play a standard 10 game season that must be completed by the end of November because the playoffs will start the first weekend of December with the semifinals being played the weekend before Christmas (depending on the calendar). Leagues with Championship Games will be allowed an 11th game but must schedule accordingly.

So let’s use this year’s calendar. The playoff would start this weekend (Dec. 4). First round games would be played at campus sites. Now after the games have concluded this would give the other Bowls a chance to select their teams in time to start playing the week of the 13th. Second round games will be held at the allotted bowl sites on December 11th. And the semis will be played December 18. Then the Championship Game would be played New Years Day in traditional fashion. And it would give the teams two weeks to prepare.

So there it is NCAA. Problem solved and it wasn’t too difficult. Oh but wait that’s the problem. This scenario is too easy and that’s why it won’t get done. Idiots…

On a different note, I had one of the best Slurpees of my life today. Orange/Pineapple Freeze mixed with Slamin’ Blamin’ Cherry. It was awesome. Definitely the pick me up I needed to get through the rest of the day.

Has anyone noticed that the Clippers are off to a 9-6 start? That team has always had such great young talent. Maybe this is the year they finally put it together.

The Suns blew out the Cavs last night and LeBron only scored 15. Phoenix is good. I thought they were stupid at the beginning of the year for playing Stoudamire at center, but that “Fun and Gun” system is working. Every starter on that team can run and Steve Nash is the perfect point guard to get them the ball. But for some reason, to me at least, it feels like Nash moved the Mavs west with him. That team just doesn’t strike me as one that will be able to hang with San Antonio or Minnesota in the post season because of the lack of a true inside presence. But if anything they’re fun to watch.

The Cavs have the Nuggets tonight. ‘Bron vs. ‘Mello 3. On paper the Nuggets have a lot more talent than the Cavs. But the Cavs have been playing so well as a team. And you know LeBron will step up and have a big game after being off last night.

The MAC Championship is also tonight. It’s “The Team from Up North” vs. the “Team from Down South”, at least that’s what Urban Meyer used to call Toledo and Miami when he was at BG. This game matches BG’s biggest rival (UT) versus our oldest (Miami). I honestly don’t care who wins. I think Toledo has the best shot at beating UConn in the Motor City Bowl and they will sell more tickets for that game. So as much as it pains me, I’ll “root” for Toledo.

And I’m spent…

Turkey Lurkey Doo and Turkey Lurkey Dah

I meant to write on Monday. Didn’t happen. Surprisingly enough I actually had work to do. I did write yesterday only to have the site crap out and lose the whole posting. So here we go, third times a charm. And now I have to cram a whole week’s worth of stuff into one post.

My Thanksgiving was good. It started with me playing football with my buddy Mark and his boys in their annual Turkey Bowl. I was a master decoy. Running deep past my man every play only to see the ball thrown underneath into his zone. But it was fun. Even though a fumbled kickoff and an interception thrown to the drunkest guy on the field (which was returned for a TD) cost us the game. Not only was he the drunkest he was also smoking for the majority of the game. Might as well have slapped brown jerseys on us and called us the Browns.

For dinner I went to my wife’s friend’s house. The food was good. Turkey, homemade stuffing, mashed potatoes, and rolls. And of course pumpkin pie. It was tasty.

Was it just me or were the football games Thursday the worst in recent memory. A blowout and probably one of the ugliest games of the year. The only thing that saved the day was the WVU at Pitt game Thursday night. It was its usual Backyard Brawl barnburner.

That may have been the shortest 4-day weekend in recorded history. It probably had something to do with the fact that Friday and Saturday morphed into one day for me. Both involved me, the couch, and either watching college football or playing it on my PS2. I did do laundry Friday, so that’s constructive.

The Browns scored 48 points Sunday. That’s the good news. They lost by 10. That’s the bad news. They gave up 58 to the Bungles. This is a defense that gave up 10 the week before to the Jets, and lost. This team just blows my mind. It’s really ridiculous.

That means that last week BG and the Browns scored a combined 89 points and went a combined 0-2.

But if one thing came out of Sunday, it’s another qb controversy. Kelly Holcomb threw for over 400 yards. His 3rd such game since 2002. And coincidently the Browns are 0-3 in those games. Pretty awesome. But Holcomb should never be a full time starter. He stares down receivers and he has a noodle arm (both evident by his game clinching interception Sunday). Just stick with Garcia; he’s the best we’ve got.

The icing on the cake was Andra Davis getting hurt Sunday. Our best defensive player done for the year with a torn MCL (the same knee he hurt in college). He isn’t only the heart and soul of our D but he’s also one of the best young MLBs in the NFL.

While I’m on the Browns I’m just going to talk about the Butch Davis firing now. I can’t say that it made me sad. Butch is a pure college coach. He’s a rah-rah kind of guy. And that attitude wears thin after a while on NFL players (look at Gruden in TB). For a guy who coached under Jimmy Johnson I was very surprised at the lack of discipline this team has showed over the last couple of years. Stupid penalties, fights, suspensions, and tack on our piss poor drafts and you have a recipe for success. Some college program will give Butch a job and he deserves it. He was a good college coach once, and he’ll be one again.

Moving on…

What the heck was the Providence College AD thinking when he made their basketball schedule for this season? In a four day stretch they played #1 Wake Forest, Michigan, and Top 25 Florida. I know that the first 2 were in the Preseason NIT, but if you have a team like PC shouldn’t you plan on them making it to the semis of that tournament? Then you fly them to Miami to play Florida on Saturday. I guess a 1-2 record over that stretch is a victory.

I can also ask the same question of UNC’s AD. Why would you even think of scheduling a game within 48 hours of your team returning from Hawaii? I mean that’s only about a 15 hour flight. Maybe jet lag is a new term in NC.

I was glad to see Iowa make it to the finals of the Maui Tournament. Even though they got beat up against UNC they represented the Big 10 well. And I also think it made people remember that Steve Alford is a good coach. This guy was the talk of the Big 10 a couple of years ago when Iowa won the Big 10 Tournament. And he took a team to the Dance for I believe 5 years in a row (SW Mizzou St and Iowa). He is only building not only on his reputation but also Bob Knights. No one ever talks about the Bob Knight disciples, but they’re doing pretty well. I can think of three right now. Alford at Iowa (245-148 at Iowa and SW Mizzou), Coach K at Duke (695-240 at Army and Duke), and Dan Dakich at my alma mater Bowling Green (116-90). Those are pretty good records by guys who are branching off of a pretty good coach. And to all you Dean domers, Knight has 840 wins; he’s going to catch him.

The ACC-Big 10 Challenge started last night. I’ve always been a fan of this little gimmick. Grant it the ACC always wins, but it still presents some entertaining games. Such as the Wisconsin-Maryland game last night. That was just a great game, flat out. And by the way, UW’s Bo Lyon is a pretty good coach for those who didn’t know. I know that the Big 10 has been down the last couple of years but to win back-to-back titles at a school that hadn’t won one in almost 35 years is pretty impressive.

I’m also glad to see Ohio St. actually draw a team that’s not among the elite. Because let’s face it, we don’t have Michael Redd and Scoonie Penn in the back court anymore. Yes, OSU drew Clemson. Very winnable in my estimation. Considering we’ve drawn NC State, Duke, and last year Georgia Tech, I think we deserve a break (we did beat NC State in 2001 though).

Did anyone else know that George Brett is from WV? Hall of Famer George Brett is from Glendale. I just found that odd that in a state with so few celebrities that that isn’t a big deal. I found it on the Baseball HOF site. They have a map so you just click on a state and it tells you what HOFers were born there. Yeah, I clicked on every one of them.

I have one suggestion for the Cleveland Browns in their search for a new coach. Jim Fassel. The guy is offensive minded, which contrary to Sunday is what this team needs. The defense has been its only strength since 1999. And he has taken a team to a Super Bowl. Available coaches with that on their resume are hard to come by.

Tyrone Willingham was also fired yesterday by Notre Dame. I don’t agree with this. Willingham took over a bad team. Probably the worst thing that happened to him was going 10-3 his first year and getting everyone hopes up. Because that team wasn’t that good. And it has showed the last 2 seasons. But ND lacks two things, speed and depth. Those are two facets that can’t be built in just 3 seasons. If he would have served his entire contract I think ND would have been in a BCS game by year 5.

This now opens the door for Urban Meyer. The Midwestern guy and former ND assistant is a good fit. And ND is one of the outs in his Utah contract. He will take over a much better team than the one Willingham inherited. They could win 9 games next year. And for all of you Utah fans that have been listening to Meyer say he’s at Utah for the long haul. Remember two things, 1. He’s about the most ambitious coach in America. His goal from day one has been to get a head coaching job at a major program. 2. He said the same things in 2002 before he bolted for Salt Lake. Déjà vu? I think so.

And finally, over the last 4 weeks I have become the world’s worst Fantasy Football GM. My team has lost 4 in a row to fall out of a playoff spot. I need a big time rally or I’m done. But like most GMs I’m going to shift blame and lay it on Priest Holmes. His injury has been my downfall. There you go Priest; you deal with this media frenzy.

By the way, I solved the BCS and created a DI-A playoff system. But that’s a story for tomorrow.