Please somebody say Bill Clinton...And the show has reached a new low.

Its picture time.

While this maybe one of the scariest pictures known to man it does show a good lookin' beard. This is about two-and-a-half months of hard beard growing. But I got a haircut Wednesday, so I figured I should trim the beard to even things out a bit. It was my first haircut since the beginning of November so I looked like quite the hippie. I'm pretty sure its impossible for me to look like a rugged mountain man, so I think that hippie is a better description.

Now onto more pictures.

Could these men be brothers from different mothers? The resemblence is uncanny. Or maybe its just their gargantuan foreheads. They're monsters for sure. But neither one has a beard, which makes both of them far more less cool than me.

Jinx shit on the floor this morning sometime between the time my wife left for work and I went downstairs. Needless to say he ate shit for breakfast. I'm awesome.

I actually have to work a little bit on Satuday because I've got a kid driving in from NC for an interview. He's goes to Western Carolina. I only know one other person who went there and he's pretty cool so I figure this kid might be okay.

Sometimes I drift back to the first night I watched Anchorman and laugh at all of the fun that was had. And then I slip into a deep, burning rage for a certain individual. And that makes me think about stolen wind pants which pretty much puts me over the edge.

As much as I love college football I really can't get into the all-star games. I do love Mel Kipers analysis of the prospects. For the most part these kids look like they've only been playing together for a week. Its pretty much the same story for the NFL All-Pro Game. I would rank basketball as the #1 All-Star game(s) and baseball 2. Those are just sports that you don't need a lot of practice for them to be entertaining. Football is a very intricate sport.

That's it. I'm done.

You're going to like it at our house Jenna Jameson

I really don’t have much to say, but I figure that I haven’t posted anything in days so I feel obligated.

I love that Amare Stoudamire has “Black Jesus” tattooed on his neck. I was reading Sports Illustrated this week and in a new Nike ad with Amare in it there is his tattoo right in your face. Awesome. Anyone that can pull off branding himself with “Black Jesus” and not mean for it to have any religious inclination is awesome.

My wife and I have been fighting all week. I think that’s to blame for my lack of thought. Its not so much fighting as it is her not talking to me. I didn’t really do anything wrong and I’m not apologizing for anything. Now I know that basic logic says apologize and move on, but hell no. If anything she’s owes me an apology. I’m not going to get into specifics.

I was watching something the other day and the commentator said that anyone who still questions JJ Redick’s NBA potential after his performance Saturday is off of their rocker. Are you kidding me? I can name 30 of them and their all NBA GMs. While Redick has improved his ball handling and moves off the dribble, I think that he’s too slow and still looks uncomfortable at best once he gets around the basket. He’s a great shooter. But guys in the NBA are a lot quicker and he’ll have a hand in his face on almost every shot.

Speaking of NCAA sharp shooters, I can see Gerry McNamara being the next Steve Kerr. There’s no way he’ll be a regular point guard in the NBA. Yeah he has good assist numbers this year, but how often do you see him driving to the hoop. The only reason his assist numbers are so good is because he plays on a jump shooting team. He’s a good shooter, not in the class of Redick, but good enough to probably get a solid look by a lot of people in the league. If not, have fun in France.

Speaking of playing in Europe, Sheldon Williams. Everyone’s second favorite Dukie. He showed earlier this year that he can’t handle a true low post player (Killingsworth) and Saturday he showed that he can’t handle someone with a little versatility (Jeff Green). Basically Williams can’t handle anyone with a better skill set than him. He’s got slow feet and he gets away with it against lesser players because of his reach. He’ll get buried in the pre draft camps. He’ll get drafted, probably in the 1st round because he’s a legit 6’11”, but he’ll have the same type of career that every other Duke big man.

Esta Viernes, tiempo bailar en las calles.

There was a kid in my Spanish III class who would say that every Friday. It means "Its Friday, time to dance in the streets." I've always thought that it was a good saying and one of the few phrases I remember from Spanish class.

I really don’t have much to say today. I’m really glad that its Friday.

Sometimes I feel like Ron Artest when I’m at work. I think that the 2-3 people who read this blog should be able to figure out what I mean by that.

As we found out a couple of days ago Brett Handleman has some how finagled a full time job in baseball. A feat that was previously thought to be impossible. And here’s my theory on how he came to acquire this position.

Brett’s first baseball internship was with the NJ Cardinals of the NY-Penn League. From what I understand this was a small operation that obviously put a lot of responsibility on Brett’s meek shoulders. This of course showcased Brett’s inability to do anything.

Now I don’t know a lot about Minor League Hockey so I’m going to pass over his run with whatever hockey team he “worked” for.

In 2004 he managed to pull the wool over a certain GM’s eyes and get an internship with the Brevard County Manatees. While this was a good-sized staff there was still plenty of work for the interns to do. Having a smaller staff once again brought Brett’s ineptitude to the surface.

So in 2005 good ole Brett lands another internship with the Lakewood BlueClaws. Now the BlueClaws have a staff of 27 full-timers. This means that there must have been plenty of people for Brett to hide behind (he is a little guy, after all). With nothing to mess up, Brett becomes a solid intern. While he doesn’t bring anything to the table, he manages not to take anything away, for once. This in turn leads to someone actually giving him a good reference and in turn gets him a full time job.

There is obviously no God. Someone that is this inept should never be hired by anyone who is not family. I think that Brett is one of the few people that would screw up working for a not-for-profit organization. Its too bad for whoever hired him in Augusta that they didn’t ask themselves why this kid had 4 internships and didn’t list anyone from any of his internships prior to Lakewood as a reference.

I really hope that he fails miserably. And some day maybe I’ll get my tear away Nike wind pants back. I can only pray.

I'm gonna crap double for you tonight

I watched quite a bit of basketball last night. Duke-NC State, Cavs-Nuggets, and Buck-Badgers. All of them fairly entertaining games.

JJ Redick has no doubt improved his game over the last two seasons. He handles the ball more, and that’s great for him. But he’s 6’4”, maybe, and he has no idea what to do when he gets into the paint. And something that no one mentions when talking about his NBA chances is the speed of the game. Redick isn’t quick by any stretch of the imagination and I think he’ll get eaten up in the NBA. He reminds me of Shawn Respert who went to Michigan State back in the mid ‘90s with Eric Snow. Respert could shoot the lights out. But he got into the league and all of a sudden he had bigger, faster players guarding him and he couldn’t cut it. Who would have thought that Snow would be the one to go on and have the long career?

Tim Legler is clearly an idiot. He said during last night’s game that the Nuggets were counting on Kenyon Martin to score them 20 a game and grab 12 or 14 boards every night. Well if Kiki, Karl, and company are counting on that they’re going to be sorely disappointed. Martin is more athletic than a lot of power forwards, and that’s how he gets most of his points. He isn’t consistent from 15-17 feet and he has no discernable low post moves. Legler says some dumb things. Does he actually watch the NBA?

LeBron is the most inconsistent 75% free throw shooter in the history of the NBA. He has more under 50% free throw games then any star this side of Shaq should have. His horrendous free throw shooting cost his team both the Lakers game last week and last night’s game versus the Nuggets. In my 2 seasons of high school basketball I managed to shoot over 80%. I would think that LeBron could manage that.

With Corey Dillon aging about 10 years this past season how funny would it be for the Pats to go out and sign Edge? Grant it he’ll be asking for a ton of money, but you know that he won’t go back to the Colts. Not after only getting 18 touches (only 13 carries) in his team’s biggest game of the year. A couple of screens and draws to Edge could have changed that entire game.

With the way Jameer Nelson is playing for the Magic and the continue rise of Dwight Howard wouldn’t a guy like Danny Granger look great next to them? I know that that’s like pouring salt into the wound, but if the Magic’s management wasn’t so inept they could have three solid corner stones in place. I really think that Nelson has Mighty Mouse potential. If you look at Damon Stoudamire’s numbers from Toronto (19.5/8.8/4.2) at the beginning of his career they’re very similar to what Nelson has been putting up since Francis was suspended.

I think that a NBA team needs to start having Afro nights like once a month. And I’m not talking about idiot fans wearing wigs. I mean that the guys with cornrows pick it out for one night a month. How awesome would that be? I’ve always said that if I were a black man, or even had that bristle pad-type curly hair I’d fro it out. No doubt.

Nice set of hooters you got there

Going into Sunday’s Steelers-Colts game I knew 3 things.

1. I hate the Steelers more than any NFL team. Grant it rivalries in the NFL aren’t nearly what they are at the high school or college level, but I’m a Browns fan. Enough said.

2. I like Tony Dungy. I liked him in Tampa and always felt that he got a raw deal there.

3. I bet on the Colts to win. Even with a 9.5 point spread, I took the Colts.

Here’s what I didn’t know going into Sunday.

1. How much I hate Peyton Manning.

That’s it. I had no clue how much I couldn’t stand him. I was openly rooting for the Steelers. Every time he missed a receiver or got sacked I was loving it. He is such an anti-leader. He always looks like he’s moping when things go wrong and he gets frustrated in the face of adversity. The fact is that everyone makes such a big deal about him calling his own plays, but yet when he gets his ass kicked like on Sunday no one brings it up. After the way the Steelers hit him in the first half shouldn’t the Colts have gone to more three step drops? Or maybe some draws or screens. A coach makes these kind of adjustments because they see what’s happening. Apparently a player, or at least a Manning, can’t see these things.

I was watching Sportscenter Monday morning and Sean Salisbury said that he couldn’t believe that Peyton would call out his line in the post game press conference. He said that was so “unlike Peyton.” Now I know that Sean is a lush, but has he been sleeping for the last 10+ years. Every time something goes wrong or his team loses, its never Peyton’s fault. I’ve never heard him step up and say “my bad.”

How couldn’t the Colts coaching staff have been ready for that defensive attack? It’s the same thing that the Chargers did to them. And the Steelers have better linebackers and defensive backs so you knew they would try the same stuff. Poor preparation on the part of the Colts. Poor preparation, or just choking.

Troy Polamalu is awesome. Going into Sunday I’ve always thought he was overrated because he has a tendency to get be over aggressive and get burnt deep (like Roy Williams). But wow. He was all over the field Sunday. And when he blitzed he looked like a missile going after Manning.

I hate both of the teams in the AFC Championship game. My only hope is that the Steelers’s plane crashes into the Broncos training facility during a film session.

If someone would have told me that the Bears were going to score 21 points on Sunday I would have taken them in a heart beat. Hey defense, thanks for showing up. At least they talked a great game during the week.

This Page 2 article is awesome. Wait until you get to the mention of Tee Martin. I almost peed myself. Okay, maybe I peed a little.

I have a solution for the NFL officiating problem in the post season. Only use your top 4 crews. There you go. There’s a maximum of 4 games per weekend during the playoffs. So use the top 4 crews to do these games. Use the top 2 on the Championship games and numero uno on the Super Bowl. If I were the crew doing the Super Bowl I wouldn’t want 5 weeks off before the game. I would imagine that officials get rusty just like players after a long lay off.

Dayn Perry is a baseball writer for Foxsports.com. He’s pretty much an idiot. And to boot he looks like Brett Handleman. I would even bet that his alter persona is Hunter Lago. Just look at his picture, its almost as eerie as Nick Manno.

Hope you had a hell of a piss, Arnold!

I know that one shouldn’t take joy in someone else’s pain, but I find it pretty easy to root against Michelle Wie. There was an article in Sport Illustrated towards the end of the summer that talked about how Wie is despised by the other young players on the LPGA (I was bored and it was the only article left). It was actually pretty interesting. While Wie has all of the tools to be great, she doesn’t have the head for it at this point. She’s been so busy playing on the pro tours since she was 14 or so that she hasn’t won any tournaments. Therefore she doesn’t know how to close out and react to pressure situations. This is why she busts every time she has a shot at a cut on the PGA and why she choked on a huge sausage at the LPGA US Open last year.

The Cavs-Lakers game was great last night. Unfortunately for me the Cavs lost, but it was still a great game. One thing that I was really disappointed in was LeBron’s free throw shooting. He was 4 of 9 from the line and the Cavs lost 99-98. If he would’ve made two more (that’s still only 66.7%) the Cavs win because Kobe is never in position to win it. It was good to see Drew Gooden hustle and grab the board on LeBron’s missed FT at the end of the game. He’s becoming more and more consistent with his effort. He still has his clueless moments though. But considering the Cavs don’t run any plays for him he’s doing a nice job cleaning up Damon Jones’s bricks.

Speaking of Jones, he needs to be taken out of the starting lineup. I know that the Cavs options are limited without Cousin Larry, but Jones is not a starter. His role on this team is to come off of the bench and hit open 3’s. Which is something he’s struggled with lately. I really think that Luke Jackson deserves a shot to start. He’s rebounded well this season from his back injury. Putting him at the “3” and moving LeBron into the backcourt looks a lot better than Jones and Eric Snow both starting. Not to mention having to play Mike Wilkes significant minutes because they don’t have another backup point guard if Jones is starting.

I read a great article on Freedarko.com today. It compared Mehmet Okur to Elvis. The similarities are startling.

I’m really torn on the Bears-Panthers and Pat-Broncos games this weekend. I feel confident in the Seahawks and I think that the Colts are going to come out and smoke Pittsburgh. I love the Bears defense, but I have trouble trusting Grossman in his first playoff game. And even though the Panthers have a playoff experienced QB in Delhomme, I don’t totally trust him either because he’s always been kind of a gunslinger.

I love the way the Pats are playing right now. But they’re going to Denver. And while buck-toothed John isn’t there anymore its still a hard place to go into and win. The Pats aren’t usually fooled twice in the same season, but Shanahan may be returning to genius status after this season.

The final call is a pussed-out 2-team parlay. Take the money, don’t be a hero.

Phone's ringin' dude.

I don’t have nearly as many good stories as some of my other friends. But I like to think the ones I have are at least worthwhile, unlike myself. Without further adieu, here is one of my favorite stories of all time.

My sophomore year of high school was rough. At this point in my life I was still a little shy and not the outspoken class clown I would become by my senior year.

I played JV basketball that year for the New Philadelphia Quakers. We were horrible. As in 1-19 horrible, but we did win our last game.

Anyways, I started the season as a starter. At the time, I was not an offensive player. I wasn’t as inept as Adonal Foyle, but I was by no means our go to guy. I was an enforcer. I ran through screens, I knocked cutters on their ass, and I regularly beat the shit out of the two prim Donna freshmen that were on our team. And my coach loved me for it. He’s now the varsity coach and he still preaches defense and rebounding.

About eight games into the season my dad finally sold our house so after the season I was moving to Wooster, OH with him and my step mom. Until then I would live with my grandparents. I made the mistake of asking for a new emergency medical card and telling the varsity coach that I would be leaving after the season.

Needless to say I was naïve.

A little background info on varsity coach Bob Alsept. He replaced a very popular coach who took a bigger job after a good state tournament run my freshman year. He was an assistant at U of Akron and had no high school coaching experience. He was a douche bag. To the point that he resigned 3 games into the 1998-99 season (my frosh year at BG) after three seniors and two juniors (3 of them starters) refused to come back and play for him. Pretty awesome dude.

Back to the story. I went from starter to end of the bench. Without any explanation. But I figured it out pretty quickly. So I started beating the shit out of the four or five guys on the team that I didn’t like during practice. And like I said, we kept losing. And when I say lose, I mean that we only played one close game all season besides the one we won. And in that game our center missed a lay up on a picket fence in bounds play with about 4 seconds left.

So I only got into games with about 3 minutes left and we were down by 30. But there was a group of 5 of us that this was the only time we played. So I would basically go out and pick up about 3 good fouls and we would just bomb away and cut the lead down to like 20 against the other team’s scrubs.

We went up to Glenoak in Canton at some point late in the season. Their JV team was basically made up of football players. Big football players. So when I got in there I was looking to start something. I got into a jump ball tussle on a rebound with one of these Neanderthals and he ripped the ball away from me after the ref blew the whistle. So I punched him in the chest. Hard enough to knock him back a few steps. The kid came after me but the ref jumped right in and gave me a technical.

The best part about this was that my coach was so out of it that he wasn’t watching the game when this went down. He called me over and I told him that I didn’t hear the whistle and was going for the ball. And he bought it.

Apparently when the coaching staff was reviewing the game film, it was very evident that I slugged this kid on purpose and the coaches discussed it at some length (this is according to my buddy who was a manager). Alsept wanted to run me till I died. But it never happened. I think that it was because Coach Tidrick (we called him Coach Tid, Tit when he pissed me off) liked my attitude and he later told me that it killed him that he wasn’t supposed to play me.

Needless to say I transferred back to New Philadelphia before the next year because I hated my new school. And believe it or not, that SOB Alsept had the nerve to ask me if I was going out for basketball. I told him to kiss my ass. I got detention, but it was worth it.

By the way, Tid got me out of the detention.

If someone puts me into the boards I'm going to piss all over myself

Some how I forgot to comment yesterday on my boy, Omar Jacobs, leaving BG early for the NFL draft. I’m both surprised and not surprised by this. I’m surprised because Omar missed over 3 games this year with an injury and when he came back for the Miami and Toledo games his timing was clearly off. But in the same breath if he stayed he wouldn’t have any of his old weapons around him. We’re losing our top 2 backs, top 2 receivers, and 3 guys off of a line that wasn’t that great to begin with. This accompanied by the fact that Omar would be a 5th year senior I think sealed the deal. If he had come out last year he would have gone in the top 2 rounds for sure. Now, who knows? He’s got that side arm release, he played in a pass happy offense, and he played out of the shotgun most of the time. I hope that he gets picked and does well.

The story that Glory Road tells is a great one. An all black starting 5 beating an all white Kentucky team in the NCAA Finals. Great story. But my problem with this movie is that it was made by Disney. I want to hear the real story about that team. How they were run out of just about every visiting gym they played in and the horrible things they were called. Just my preference. I don’t want to hear the PG version of the story.

Do you think that Major Applewhite secretly roots against Chris Simms? Or maybe he openly roots against him. I was reading an article about what Texas has at QB for 2006, which is basically nothing, and they brought up Applewhite and all of the records he set there. It seems to me that he would make a great quarterbacks coach, if he’s not already.

I hate when people sign an email or letter with “regards”. What kind of regards? Best regards? Worst regards? I hope you die and a pig eats out your intestines regards? It’s a stupid closing and I wish that it would go away.

Here is a picture of me in Dallas with some Cowboy Cheerleaders. I know what you’re thinking. “Calvin, why are you next to the black cheerleader?” Honestly, I don’t have a good answer except for the fact that I just had a brain fart. My boss told me to get in there for a picture and I just happened to be on that side of the table. I will always regret it.

Hey baby, you must've been something before electricity

A big thanks to the NFL for four putrid games this weekend. And a big thanks to Eli, the Giants defense, and Kimo von Oelhoffen for ruining my playoff parlay. Hell, I was sitting pretty Saturday night. I picked the ‘Skins to upset the Bucs (sorry Hughes), and even though the 8 point spread I had scared me, I picked the Pats. You see I remembered how horrible the Jags played the last time they actually played a real team (Colts) and went with that. But after the first half of the Panthers-Giants game it was painfully obvious that winning wasn’t in the cards for the weekend. And even though it wouldn’t have done me any good, I think Cincy beats Pittsburgh with Palmer. But in the end I realized I should have no better than to bet on a Manning in a big game.

How many gamblers do you think lost big money because of von Oelhoffen? I bet there are a lot of people out there who would like to put a price on his head.

Once the Jags-Pats game was out of hand Saturday night (thanks to Ben Watson and the terrible tackling of the Jags) I started flipping to the 2005 Quarterback Challenge on NFL Network. Three things that I liked about this broadcast: 1) The long toss challenge, there’s just something about seeing someone who can actually throw the ball 75 yards (I know that there’s no talent involved here, but its kind of like a demolition derby, you just can’t look away). 2) Bonnie Bernstein, I think Bonnie looks good most of the time, but she looked really good during this telecast. 3) My favorite, Chad Johnson being crazy. Here is a paraphrased interview between Chad and Bonnie after Chad finished running routes during one of the passing competitions.

Bonnie: Why were you juking when you came off of the line?
Chad: I think it helps with the timing.
BB: I just wanted to make sure that you didn’t have any imaginary friends out there.
CJ (clearly baited): Well, I do imagine different cornerbacks when I run routes.
BB: Who were you running against today?
CJ: Samari…
BB: Samari Rolle?
CJ: Yeah, I got him a few times today.
BB: I’ll make sure I tell him that next time I see him.
CJ: Oh, he knows, he knows.

I love Chad Johnson because he’s Crazy Funny (not Crazy Scary like Artest). And he had his gold teeth in the whole time because according to him if he’s putting on the jersey then the teeth go in. And the fact that he was out mingling with tailgaters before the game yesterday is awesome.

Mark Hughes has a good theory on why Artest imploded in Indy and I’m with him on it. The fact is that Ron Ron doesn’t think that Jermaine O’Neil is a better player so he doesn’t think he should have to defer to him. Now all of the recent talks have been about Ron either going to the Clips or the Warriors. If he goes to either of these places the coach better make him option #1 or you’re going to have the same scenario play out. No one on Golden State is even close to Artest and while Brand makes a good case in L.A., he’s kind of in the same boat as O’Neil. Honestly I’d like to see him go to L.A. because I think we might tear a whole in the universe with him and Cassel on the same team. But the fact is Ron Ron isn’t going to be happy unless he’s the guy or he’s playing next to KG or Kobe. The talk of him going to Denver is ridiculous because he would kill Carmello Anthony, which I would like to see so John DeMetro would cry.

The Baseball Hall of Fame inductees will be announced tomorrow. I’ve actually been reading quite a bit from different people in the know about which of these guys should get in. The talk is that this could be a lot of these guys’ last chance because there’s no real 1st time contenders this year (not even Orel Hershiser). There are some great closers on this list that have been on the outside looking in for a few years now (Gossage, Sutter, Lee Smith). These guys were really pioneers, along with Rollie Fingers, when it comes to closers. But here’s my theory on why they aren’t in, and it ties into football.

The game has evolved to where a designated closer is on almost every team
therefore causing save numbers to go through the roof. Now the benchmark for a
successful closer is 40 saves in a year. But 20 years ago if you got 30 you were great because there were teams that didn’t get 30 saves in a year. Now here’s the football tie in. The save is suffering the same effects now that pass catching will suffer over the next 20 years in football. The NFL has become such a pass first league that just about anyone can get 500 catches in a career. Case in point, before 1990 there were only 3 players to ever catch 100 passes in a season and they each did it once each (Art Monk, 106, 1984; Charlie Hennigan, 101, 1964; Lionel Taylor, 100, 1961). But since 1990, there have been 47 such occurrences. When you look at some of the guys that are playing now and the ungodly amount of catches they have its pretty ridiculous. I mean, I know that guys like Marvin Harrison and Isaac Bruce are Hall of Famers. But would you put Keenan McCardell, Eric Moulds, or even Keyshawn Johnson in the Hall. I know that I wouldn’t. To me, these are just players that have benefited from the time they play in. Do guys like Roberto Hernandez (324) and Joe Table (314) deserve to get into the HOF because they play in a closer happy time? I don’t think so.

I was reading Sports Guys Glossary Column the other day and one of his theories hit me like a ton of bricks because it used to happen all of the time my junior year of college. “Pulling a Jackie” is basically when your significant other or a buddy’s walks in at the most inopportune time during a sporting event, or in my case, video game.

My wife, then girlfriend, lived in the dorm that was about 100 yards from my fraternity house. This was good for obvious reasons, and bad for others. During this year my roommate and I played a season of EA Triple Play Baseball 2000. Now this took commitment because we didn’t simulate, so you really had to be dedicated. Basically if I was playing I was usually winning. But if Jess called and came over, it just threw me off. I remember at least 2 occasions where I had at least a 5 run lead in the 8th and she came over and I lost. Very similar things happened that year during our multiple seasons of NHL Faceoff 2001 as well. And it continues to this day. I have my PS2 set up in our 2nd bedroom so not to disturb her when I play. But she’ll come in there and the game will always get away from me. It’s uncanny.

Damn long-ears, trying to steal Easter away from Jesus.

For once, the game lived up to the hype. And while I’m subjective and will always consider the 2002 National Title Game the greatest game ever (Go Bucks, remember that that was the first time that one of my teams won a title in my lifetime), this year’s game was just incredible.

What made last night even better was that the "Master of Your Domain" episode of Seinfeld was on TBS at 6:30 last night. Just the perfect beginning to a great night.

A few observations:

Did it seem to anyone else that Vince Young was playing opossum in the first half? I thought that there was at least 5 occasions when he should have kept the ball on their zone read play. And at least another 5 where he usually runs on a pass play but found a receiver instead (usually David Thomas). It almost seemed like it was part of the game plan. Everyone talks about how USC makes great half time adjustments, but if you’re not beating them with something then there’s no point in making adjustments. Then you look at the second half, Vince starts running and USC’s got no answer. If that was part of the game plan then Mack Brown and his offensive staff are geniuses.

When USC scored to go up by 12 with 6:40 left I got the feeling that it was déjà vu of last year’s Rose Bowl. Remember that UM was up by 2 scores with like 5 minutes left and Vince took over. At that point last night, I was still confident that Texas was going to win. What a game.

Vince Young is the most dangerous player in the country, and that includes Reggie Bush. And Vince gets the nod for one reason; he touches the ball on every play. He doesn’t need a facilitator to get him the ball (other than the center).

Did anyone really thing that Vince was going to throw the ball on 4 and 5 at the end of the game? I think that everyone in the country knew that he was going to take off.

Leinert definitely got his bell rung at the end of the first half on the play where he dove and took a shoulder to the head. He didn’t look like he had a clue on the last 2 plays of the first half.

And what the hell was he doing on the last play of the game? A senior quarterback has to know the situation. When he didn’t have anything to the right he should have just threw it away and lined up for a hail marry on the next play. I’d take my chances with Dwayne Jarrett and Steve Smith on a jump ball.

As great as Pete Carroll may be, what the hell was he thinking blowing their last timeout before the Texas 2-point conversion? Its not like that play would have put the game out of reach. I would have rather had that TO going back on offense.

Leinert also pissed me off with his post game comments. He kept saying things like he thought USC was the better team and that Texas didn’t beat them as much as USC beat themselves. Those are such backhanded comments. You lost, at least be the class act that you’re supposed to be. What a son-of-a-bitch.

Keith Jackson is fantastic and I’m going to miss him if he really is done. My generation missed out on Howard Cosell for the most part, so with that said Jackson is probably the greatest game caller of our time (no offense to Al Michaels).

I also thought that Dan Fouts did a great job last night. He never gets too excited about any one thing and doesn’t seem to harp on stuff the way other color guys do. I think a lot of that comes from his admiration for Jackson and not wanting to step on his toes.

The replay officials definitely missed a couple of calls last night. The Vince Young option when his knee was down, but give Texas credit for getting lined up for the kick, even though they missed. To me that was still worth it, I’d trade 1 point for 6 any day. The other big one that I thought they missed was when Texas intercepted a pass on USC’s last drive of the half. The guy went up, had possession, and it popped out when he hit the ground. I thought that the ground couldn’t cause a fumble. USC ended up going down and kicking a field goal right before half.

The play that I thought they got right was the supposed fumble by Charles in the 2nd half. He came over the middle and got popped knocking the ball out. But when the replay was shown at full speed he clearly didn’t have the ball long enough for it to be a catch. The slow motion was really miss leading and I’m glad the Big Ten refs got it right.

Vince Young should leave for the NFL. Yes he’ll end up in Houston, but things could be worse. He’ll be playing in his hometown, they do have talent on that team, and the way he plays he’d be asking for an injury next season. If I were him Andre Johnson, Jabar Gaffney, and Dominick Davis would be looking pretty good to me. Not to mention the millions of dollars and endorsements. If Houston brings in a coach that is smart enough to devise a scheme for Young, he could be a monster. Of course, Atlanta hasn’t figured out how to use Vick yet so who knows.

I bet that David Thomas loves Wendy’s. Think about it.

I invented its not you its me!

With a decent season in 2006, Troy Smith could go down as the greatest Buckeye quarterback ever (not that that’s saying a whole lot). If he can beat Michigan next season and win another bowl game that would make him 3-0 vs. UM and 2-0 in bowls. He will need to carry a bigger load next year without Santonio Holmes and because the defense is losing a lot of guys.

Why did the Irish stop running Darius Walker? He was the one guy on the field that I felt OSU didn’t have an answer for. Grant it ND got down, but there was still plenty of time left to run the ball. I can only remember Walker being stopped for a minimal gain once and he scored a TD on that play.

If Mussberger would have mentioned Zibikowski being a Golden Glove boxer one more time I would have hopped a plane to Tempe and punched him in the face.

Gary Danielson played QB at Purdue and is a noted Bucks hater just like his Purdue mate Bob Griese. But I could feel that Gary hates ND more, not really a surprise. I’m sure that it almost killed him to have to call that game.

I wonder if Charlie Weiss thinks that Tennessee’s defense is still better that Ohio State’s? I can’t imagine.

Charlie Weiss’s play calling is what scared the crap out of me going into that game. He worried me even more when he went to the short drops in the second half. But as the saying goes, a good defense wins against a good offense.

I hope that Lou Holtz is enjoying his shit sandwich. Contrary to what Lou thinks, the Bucks did play some good offenses this season (Texas, Northwestern, UM, MSU). But I don’t think that ND ever saw a defense like the one that was on the field Monday.

I was really glad to see WVU beat up on those Dawgs last night. I never thought that WVU would be able to run consistently on that defense. They didn’t just run consistently, they ran all over them. Steve Slaton is a stud and should be mention in all Heisman talks for next season. He just seemed to hit another gear once he got into the secondary. And Pat White’s pretty good too.

The best shots of that game were the ones that panned the crowd. I’ve never seen so many upset hillbillies. You would have thought that they just accidentally shot their best hunting dog.

I hate the way people are coming out of the woodwork to say that this proves the Big East belongs. I don’t agree. There other 3 teams lost (Rutgers, USF, and Louisville). Even though I think Louisville would have won if Brian Brohm would have been playing. Virginia Tech still sucks and I hate their fans.

Speaking of Tech, Marcus Vick should be suspended for at least the first half of next year’s opener for stomping on Dummerville’s leg. Dummerville’s going to be a first round pick, what if Vick would have broke his leg with that stomp?

Back to the WVU-UGA game. On UGA’s last TD, how did McClendon not get a flag for diving into the end zone? There wasn’t a guy within 10 yards of him.
At least Santonio Holmes won’t get flagged for celebrating his TDs in the NFL.

Since my last post the shortcomings of my beard have started to fill in. It’s just a matter of time. I’m going to try to get a picture of it up this week. I did get my wife a digital camera, I guess I should put it to use.

I completed my first season of NCAA 2006 yesterday. The BG Falcons went 13-0 after a tightly contested 28-16 Motor City Bowl win over Arkansas State. I talked Omar Jacobs into staying another year despite 41 TDs. I lost all of my other skill guys so it could be a tough season.

This was the first year that the Browns have improved their win total since 2002. At least I can hang my hat on that. They are improving, but all of this BS with Phil Savage is ridiculous. The whole thing stems from the fact that now-former-President John Collins (not a football guy) didn’t like Savage’s work schedule. Did the guy have a good (not great) draft? Did he upgrade the talent through free agency and trades? Yes and yes. What more do you want out of a GM? This team always finds a way to fuck up. They’re talking about give Crennel more power, but that’s where they got into trouble with Butch Davis. Just dumb.

Despite Dennis Northcutt’s game winning punt return Sunday I still think that he needs to go. They need to create a stat that keeps track of how much yardage a punt returner costs his team by not fielding punts outside of the 10-yard line. I’d like to think that Northcutt would lead the league (or finish last how ever you want to take it). If I were a head coach I would fine my returner every time they didn’t field a punt. And in practice they would field and return punts from the 10 for an hour.

If you missed it, Crazy Clinton Portis’s mom is clearly crazy too. She punched out an Eagles fan on Sunday. More power to her. A lot of those idiots need to be punched out.

The Cardinals signed Juan Encarnacion recently. Is Juan becoming the Chris Gatling of MLB? He’s one of those guys that’s good enough that you want him on your team, but not good enough that you want to keep him. This is after all his 6th team (Florida twice) in 10 seasons.

In case I don’t get to post over the next 2 days I’m going to make my Rose Bowl pick now. Texas 38, USC 27. And after the game I want Kirk Herbstreit and Mark May to eat both of their shoes. And I want ESPN to run a 11 part series apologizing to fans and all of the great teams of the past for anointing USC a godsend before they finished the job.