Screw the Ultimate Warrior
This may be a story that you had to be there for it to be funny, but I don’t think so.
I was in a fraternity in college and lived in the fraternity house my sophomore and junior year. My junior year I lived with my buddy Len. Len was a pretty thick dude. About 6’1’ and easily 240. He was a high school hockey player so he had an “aggressive” streak. Even though Len had drank himself a little pudgier than his hockey days, he could still take just about anyone I knew in college.
Another one of my friends lived across the hall that same year. We affectionately called him Lil’ Jon because he was all of about 5’3” and about 120lbs. LJ wasn’t too good with the ladies so he had a tendency to take a lot of “ten minute naps” (if you know what I mean). And he was interrupted quite a few times during these ten-minute naps, but I don’t think it ever really fazed him. LJ also has ADD so he’s a little off.
Now we routinely screwed with LJ. Nothing ever real harsh. Examples include putting gay porn on his desktop, tea-bagging him (routinely), even lifting his mattress up and pushing it against the wall with him on it. Good times. And its not like he just took it, there were a lot of times that he just snapped and would just start screaming. It was always a good time.
Anyways, the reason I’m reliving this is because I was reading Bill Simmons NBA preview and he was saying how Chris Kaman should come out to “Real American”, the Hulk Hogan theme song. This made me think of something that happened during exam week in the spring of my junior year.
At BG in all the on campus housing its 23-hour a day quiet hours during exam week. That means no loud music, no screaming in the halls; basically anything that’s fun. So I’m coming back from an exam just as our one hour of fun has started and as I get to the top of the stairs I hear “Real American” just blaring from someone’s room. It was ironically my room and out burst Len, who goes crashing through LJ’s door. Grabs LJ and just starts doing wrestling moves on him in the hallway. I was both lost in hysterical laughter and unmentionable horror at the same time. This went on for about 3 minutes before Len finally tired himself out. The whole time LJ was screaming like a 10 year old girl. This of course drew just about everyone in the house to the area.
Len just kind of laid on LJ for a couple of minutes then got up and gave some high fives before going back into our room. LJ got up, gingerly, and made his way back to his computer. Where of course someone had put gay porn on the desktop during the melee. Everyone just kind of went back to their things. It merely passed as a venting of exam week frustration. Whatever it was and whatever brought it on doesn’t matter because it was awesome.
The Hulk would have been proud.
I was in a fraternity in college and lived in the fraternity house my sophomore and junior year. My junior year I lived with my buddy Len. Len was a pretty thick dude. About 6’1’ and easily 240. He was a high school hockey player so he had an “aggressive” streak. Even though Len had drank himself a little pudgier than his hockey days, he could still take just about anyone I knew in college.
Another one of my friends lived across the hall that same year. We affectionately called him Lil’ Jon because he was all of about 5’3” and about 120lbs. LJ wasn’t too good with the ladies so he had a tendency to take a lot of “ten minute naps” (if you know what I mean). And he was interrupted quite a few times during these ten-minute naps, but I don’t think it ever really fazed him. LJ also has ADD so he’s a little off.
Now we routinely screwed with LJ. Nothing ever real harsh. Examples include putting gay porn on his desktop, tea-bagging him (routinely), even lifting his mattress up and pushing it against the wall with him on it. Good times. And its not like he just took it, there were a lot of times that he just snapped and would just start screaming. It was always a good time.
Anyways, the reason I’m reliving this is because I was reading Bill Simmons NBA preview and he was saying how Chris Kaman should come out to “Real American”, the Hulk Hogan theme song. This made me think of something that happened during exam week in the spring of my junior year.
At BG in all the on campus housing its 23-hour a day quiet hours during exam week. That means no loud music, no screaming in the halls; basically anything that’s fun. So I’m coming back from an exam just as our one hour of fun has started and as I get to the top of the stairs I hear “Real American” just blaring from someone’s room. It was ironically my room and out burst Len, who goes crashing through LJ’s door. Grabs LJ and just starts doing wrestling moves on him in the hallway. I was both lost in hysterical laughter and unmentionable horror at the same time. This went on for about 3 minutes before Len finally tired himself out. The whole time LJ was screaming like a 10 year old girl. This of course drew just about everyone in the house to the area.
Len just kind of laid on LJ for a couple of minutes then got up and gave some high fives before going back into our room. LJ got up, gingerly, and made his way back to his computer. Where of course someone had put gay porn on the desktop during the melee. Everyone just kind of went back to their things. It merely passed as a venting of exam week frustration. Whatever it was and whatever brought it on doesn’t matter because it was awesome.
The Hulk would have been proud.
posted by CFunk28 at 1:07 PM
1 Comments:
Great story...I was laughing out loud reading it.
By the way, don't ever disparage the Ultimate Warrior. I met him when I was in third grade and my life has never been the same.
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